Everyone has a future. Everyone has a family. Everyone has a future family.
Chances are good that you have a future marriage. If you are married right now then the next moment is your future marriage. If you are single perhaps you dream of meeting that future someone. You maybe divorced right now but who knows what the future holds if we can find healing from past hurt.
Everyone has a picture of the ideal marriage in their head. There are somethings you need to know about this picture.. It can change over time. There can be some compromises that are needed in the joining of 2 people with slightly different ideals. But there can also be some irreconcilable differences that can effect your future marriage.
We also must warn you of the SLOW FADE. At the end of the day what matters most about the picture is that you and your spouse are still in it together. We may be making choices that over time cause us to slowly fade from each others lives.
It is time right now in the present to save your Future Marriage.
Future Family 2 – Your Future Marriage
sermon notes by Chris Fluitt
Redemption Church – Nondenominational Church Plano Tx
Future Family Bumper
Welcome to the 2nd week of our Future Family Series. Quick bullet points from week 1.
- Everyone has a future.
- Everyone has a Family.
- Everyone has a Future Family.
- Your Future Family needs saving.
- The key to the future is the present.
Today we are going to talk about your future marriage.
Chances are good you are either married or one day may be married. You probably have a future marriage.
There are those who may stay single. The Apostle Paul talks about those that stay single in 1 Corinthians 7. There is nothing wrong with staying single. Paul says it is a good thing to be unmarried. Often in culture singles are treated unfairly, like there is something wrong with them. This is not true. It is not the point of today’s sermon.
We are not talking today about the Supreme Court ruling that overturned same sex marriage bans in 14 states. If that is something you have questions about we will be glad to talk to you on our Anonymous Text Line – 214-856-0550.
Here’s what we are talking about… Future Marriage
Maybe you are married right now… We are talking about your marriage in the future.
Maybe you are single.. Maybe you are young and haven’t even thought about marriage or dating.. What we talk about today will be something you will deal with later in life. Wouldn’t it be great to have the knowledge before you take the test? So listen up.
Maybe you are divorced.. Divorce is painful. You can re-marry, but your future marriage really needs you to find healing.
Your wedding day is an unforgettable (and expensive) day. You get all dressed up. You rent a beautiful picturesque location. You provide the perfect music. You hire a minister and bring lots of food. You kiss the bride and live happily ever after… You have this mental picture of what the rest of your life is going to look like… Your house, your kids, your career.. You carry around inside of you a picture of your Future Family
This is the ideal picture of our future marriage. This is the relationship and intimacy you hope fore. This is that house you dream of. For some of you are picturing retirement. Some of you haven’t gone that far, you are picturing children. Some of you are just picturing a smoking hot spouse.. and that’s ok. This is your picture of your future marriage.
This picture is the ideal, but the ideal does not always happen in our future.
We have different pictures. We have different ideals.
My ideal vacation is a beach, my wife’s ideal vacation is snow skiing.
Our Youth Pastor, Scott’s ideal of a good meal is Macaroni & Cheese with a side of Macaroni & Cheese, while his wife Jacqueline ideal of a good meal is Singaporean chili crab.
In marriage 2 different people become one flesh, one unified body.. but in some cases we have different ideals. In some cases these pictures we have of the ideal are small differences… like your idea of a good movie. These changes just require some compromise…
BUT sometimes in other weightier matters these different pictures become incompatible.
2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?(NIV)
If you and your spouse have different pictures of what righteousness is… it could effect your future.
If you are traveling different directions…in anything but let’s use fiscal responsibility as an example. One spouse makes a goal to save the other spouse spends money like there is no plan. This different picture can lead to a fight… or worse a divorce court.
You have the ideal… but then you have the real. You have that ideal picture in your mind but then you have that real visual when you open your eyes. There is tension between real & the ideal.
You need to know the ideal picture in your spouse’s mind. And you need to care about it. Hopefully this is something you talk about before you say I DO. When we give marriage counseling here at Redemption Church, we talk expressly about what is expected in these ideal pictures we have.
LISTEN UP SINGLES… do not get into a relationship with someone that has a completely different ideal than you. ESPECIALLY IN MATTERS OF FAITH.. belief in Jesus.
But here is something else we need to say. No man or woman will ever live up to your ideal. They will always fall short. So can you love them IN THE REAL even when they ARE NOT IDEAL?
The story of your Bible is the story of God being willing to leave the ideal and step into our real.
If your Future Marriage is ever going to survive the coming struggles of life, somebody is going to have to willing to leave the ideal and step into the real. Do you love enough to do that?
Over time the picture changes and this is normal, BUT BEWARE OF THE SLOW FADE.
Changes are normal…
- We weren’t expecting a 3rd child to be in the picture.. But here they are. It wasn’t the ideal, but it is now the real and we except it and we will love this new addiction to our picture.
- We weren’t expecting to lose the job.. We weren’t expecting the great new opportunity.. We were not expecting God to call us into a ministry and purpose.. BUT HERE WE ARE. The picture has changed but it is still our picture.
But there is one change you better be careful about. The Slow Fade.
The most important thing about the picture is that at the end of the day – You and your spouse are in the same picture together.
In our video introduction we showed you that clip from Back to the Future. Something had occurred that caused a chain reaction of events. The picture of a future family was altered because of one action. The people in that picture slowly faded until they were no longer. They are erased from existence.
There are things that can happen in life that will jeopardize the people in your picture.
There are things that could happening now that could remove you from the picture of your future marriage.
Long before you are married you could have formed habits that will destroy your picture.
You could be making decisions that change your ideal picture.
Let’s talk about somethings that can remove you from the picture…
- The way you spend your time. You playing on your phone or tablet instead of being a part of your family can remove you from the picture. Your priorities..
- Your trust issues. Your jealousy. Your anger. Your pride..
- Your habits. Your health..
- Your addictions. (alcoholism, drug addiction, porn addiction)
- Other relationship. Adultery
Be careful what you bring into the picture. You can bring burdens into the picture.
Here is a scripture used in marriage talks. It usually ends up feeling like a burden for women.
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.(NIV)
Men are quick to quote this.. but let’s also quote the verse before it.
Ephesians 5:21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.(NIV)
Marriage is mutual submission We are to submit to each other. We are to bear each other’s burdens. We are not to continually be a burden on each other.
Don’t be a burden, but get under the burden and help lift.
Here is something you can start asking to save your Future Marriage.
How can I Help
If your single.. A young person
If you are married…
Become someone who gets under burdens.. Save your future marriage..
But you also need to Save yourself for your Future Marriage
Sexuality was created by God for marriage. Wouldn’t it be great if you saved yourself for marriage?
Many will say that keeping your virginity for marriage is an archaic idea… But have you looked at the modern epidemic of abortions of unwanted pregnancy, divorce, and sexually transmitted diseases? If that is modern, maybe we need the timeless truth of God concerning sex and marriage.
I made a decision to save myself for marriage. I also made the decision to not pursue anyone romantically until I finished college. So at the age of 27 I finally felt ready to search for the person I would marry… I remember thinking “I have saved myself for marriage. A virgin at the age of 27.. there is practically zero chance I will find a girl that saved herself for me.. so be ready for this. They don’t have to be a virgin for you to love them and have a happy marriage with them.”
I met the most beautiful girl outside the Taco Diner in Plano. Most of you know that story and my killer pick up line… “those are some pink shoes” But most of you don’t know this part of the story.
Sarah and I were getting serious to have a serious relationship and she reached into her wallet and handed me a card one night after our date. She said she wanted me to know this… I looked down and it was a card that pledged to save her virginity for marriage. She had signed it when she was in Jr High.
I was so humbled that long before she met me she was saving herself for me.. and I her. Thank you Sarah. You have given me the best you have. .. We still save ourselves for our marriage.
Don’t you want a story like that?
Singles you can pray for your future marriage partner. You can keep yourself pure. Even if you are no longer a virgin you can save your heart for that person… you can have Jesus wash you clean… You can avoid entanglements so that you are free to give them all of you.
Getting married is difficult.
Staying married for life is rare these days.
Your Future Marriage picture could be fading right now or in the future… but there is something you can do about it right now.